Dear Mr. Man…

March 19, 2009

Fatherhood Friday:A New Kind of Cool

Filed under: Fatherhood Fridays — P. J. Easter @ 9:15 pm
Tags: , , , , ,


Q: Dear Mr. Man,

I turn forty this year and I am starting to think I’m “over the hill”.  How can I recapture my youth?

A: Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but attempting to recapture your youth is akin to Bobby Brown making a successful comeback. Sure, there are things you can do to ensure that you are living a healthy lifestyle. Physically there are lots of activities that we can do to maintain our vigor.  Aside from the physical aspects, I personally prefer my life today than where I was nearly 20 years ago. fatherhood-friday2

I’ve heard people say that “40 is the new 20”; I understand the spirit of that statement. However, I would counter that 40 is the new 40; which is a new kind of cool.

When I was in my early 20-somethings, life was crazy, confusing, and convoluted. I spent years trying to discover who I was and what I wanted and needed from life. Biologically an adult, but not truly a man. Full of mistakes and bad decisions, my 20’s were chaotic. I am fortunate in many ways; fortunate that I found my faith. Fortunate that Adi came into my life and helped stabilize me. This may not have been your experience, but it was very real for me. 

Fast forward to now. At almost 40, life is  creative, cultured, and cool. I am comfortable in who I am and what I believe. Adi helped me mature into manhood with her patience, tender strength, and support. My faith has grounded me. I am the father of two wonderful kids. A mentor and father figure of mine once told me he thought, “Life was ok. in my20’s. Then I turned 30. 30 was a great age for me, but things got really good around 40. Now I am in my 50’s and I feel like I’m on top of the world.” I didn’t understand when he first said this to me because I was in my 20’s.

Here is my Top 10 list of the “new kind of cool” I’m talking about.

It’s a “new kind of cool” to:

  1. Have faith in God and submit myself to a power greater than me.
  2. Have a wife to shower with adulation and to share my thoughts and fears and dreams with.
  3. Finding teaching moments when the boy and I play basketball (or any other activity)
  4. Know that I am the model my daughter looks to in order to know what type of man she will marry (even if she doesn’t know yet).
  5. Hear the heartbeat of my firstborn for the very first time through the ultrasound.
  6. Be the funniest guy in my house. My kids will laugh at almost anything.
  7. Learn someting new every day. And to share that knowledge.
  8. Have friends with the same values as you and aren’t afraid to correct you if you get off track.
  9. Serve others.
  10. To teach my kids to be respected for their work no matter what they may do for a living.

It’s a “new kind of cool” that many of you are choosing to man up each and every day in your own unique ways.

I like this new kind of cool. Do you?

Mr. Man

Question: What is your “new kind of cool”?



  1. Actually, my new kind of cool is my old kind of cool. Which means staying in touch with all of my friends from my convoluted early-mid 20s, despite the fact that I’m now a happy husband and father.

    I think it’s great that you’ve found a groove and you’re obviously enjoying it to the fullest. Keep at it and have a blast.

    But for me, I’d be bored stiff if I surrounded myself with people who shared all my beliefs and values. My friends are as eclectic as humanly possible, and I’m ever thankful for that. We don’t really “correct” each other because we’re all on different tracks and we accept that.

    Comment by Daddy Files — March 20, 2009 @ 6:31 pm | Reply

  2. A good outlook is crucial. Also, I am the funniest guy in my house too. It is such an ego boost when your kids laugh at such stupid things. I am not 40 yet (6 more years), I think it would feel strange to say I am 40. We’ll see.

    Comment by Joe — March 21, 2009 @ 9:03 am | Reply

    • @Joe. I think it won’t be as strange as you might think. Look back at your 20’s and ask yourself “are you in a better place in time today?” Only you would know. Thanks for the post.

      Comment by Mr. Man — March 21, 2009 @ 9:19 pm | Reply

  3. Love the advice, embrace the age guys. Though happily married, I perceive “older” men to be far more interesting, and far more worthy of admiration BUT when they embrace their age and maturity as opposed trying to be younger or what have you. There is something to be said about the “life scars” we attain throughout the years. They are meant to teach us something, make us better, more secure, more comfortable, happier even. And that is uber sexy and well, just plain ol’ cool to be around.

    Great post : )

    Comment by NYCity Mama — March 21, 2009 @ 2:16 pm | Reply

    • @nycitymama. Uber sexy, huh? If that’s the case, I can’t wait for 50 to come around.

      Comment by Mr. Man — March 21, 2009 @ 9:17 pm | Reply

  4. Be as fit as I can, live life to the fullest. And Love being in love with my family

    Comment by Paul (mytwodaddies) — March 21, 2009 @ 8:48 pm | Reply

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