Q: Dear Mr. Man,
I don’t think my wife finds me attractive anymore. What can I do to be sexier to her?
A: Friends, if I had a sure-fire answer to that, Mr. Man would be in somewhere in the tropics, having a drink out of a coconut half-shell, and grilling anything I could catch. Alas, what I can say is that I understand that it is very easy to get bogged down with the realities of the career, parenthood, and other obligations. It is important that we never forget the glue that holds all of the pieces together: your wife. Sometime, our inattention makes us less attractive to our spouses. I don’t want this to happen to in my relationship, so I made a commitment to myself that I would work harder at being the sexiest man alive to my woman.
Sexy is not necessariy looking like Denzel or Tyrese . You can look like Homer Simpson on the outside so long you are George Clooney attractive on the inside. Back me up, ladies. Don’t leave me hanging on this one. So here is what you do:
- Just Because. When I broke my ankle last year around the holidays, Adi was the only one who was there all the time. I wanted to do something nice for her, but was unable to leave the house. So I ordered flowers…just because. Just because she was there for me and that was the very LEAST I could do. There needs to be many more “just because ” moments to let her know that she is special. Take her on a weekend trip…just because. Set up a spa day…just because. Take the kids off of her hands for a few hours…just because. The simple fact that you are thinking of her will make you instantly sexier in her eyes.
- Touch Her (Not In That Way). We all need physical contact. There is something about the human touch that connects you in ways large and small to another person’s soul. That’s the way God built us. So it is doubly important that you touch your wife without expectation. I don’t mean grab her booty (although there is a time and place for that. She’ll let you know), but soft caresses, holding her hand, and gentle touches on her neck, face, and hair. Your wife is beautiful and touching her is one of the ways that you let her know that you think so.
- Shut Up and Listen. How often have you come come home to your spouse and laid out the burdens of your day? And once you get it off of your chest, you go off into the man-cave never to be seen again until dinner. I’ve been guilty of this as well. It is important to be mindful of the fact that there are events and concerns that have occurred during the day and she wants to be heard just like you do.
- Don’t Always be the Fixer. One of the most loving things that a man can do is to listen to his wife without trying to solve her problems. This is of the most difficult things for a man to do because our nature is to “fix it”. Resist your instincts. Simply refer to #3.
- Man Up and Be Her Total Man. Protect her when she needs it, but don’t suppress her strong side. Don’t be afraid to take charge, but remember…you’re not the boss of her. Don’t be afriad to discipline your children, but to do it in the spirit of love. It’s alright to let her see you cry every now and again, but not every weekend. Let her take care of you, but remember that she’s not your mama. Man up and let her see the total you.
Hopefully these steps will provide you with the instant sexy you want and she needs.