Dear Mr. Man…

April 15, 2009

Burger King…Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?

Filed under: Lost Your Damn Mind,Pop Culture — P. J. Easter @ 9:39 pm
Tags: , , ,

Last week when I got home from  work, Adi sat me down in front of the television and said, “Baby, your kids wanted you to see this commercial”. The moment she said “your kids”, I knew to expect something outlandish. I sat down and she played the following commercial:

As I watched the commercial, I literally sat on my sofa with my mouth hanging open (and not because I was hungry for one of their flame-broiled burgers). I was actually dumbfounded and confused by what I just saw: the “Burger King” dancing around singing, “I like square butts and I cannot lie…” with women doing what my wife calls “the booty dance” only their booties were SQUARE. This was Burger King’s attempt at adding humor to a “Sponge Bob Square Pants” kids’ meal promotion they are running in conjunction with Nickelodeon.

One question from The Man (y’all know what’s coming next)…


What friggin’ gives? You make a kids’ promotion based on a song that celebrates excessively large backsides? What were you thinking about besides the money that you hoped to make? Did you consider that we are already in pop cultural purgatory and you just contributed?

Did you stop to think that I might have to explain to my kids why that commercial is not funny even while they are laughing their ARSES off?

When you got called to the carpet, you said that you were marketing to adults. Puh-leeese.  I can’t think of the last time I watched one of your commercials and grabbed my kids ’cause I just had to go get a happy meal. It’s the other way around. My kids noticed your “Sponge Bob Square ASS” commercial (I’m sorry, Folks. Mr. Man couldn’t help it) and SAVED IT ON THE DVR because they thought it was so funny. I know adults can handle it and so can most kids. However, there is enough junk to jam up our kids’ minds. Why add to it? Thanks, BK. Like I needed this.

BTW, Burger King. I like the Jack In The Box commercials sooooo much better. Stop your cheesy imitations of my boy, Jack. Man up!

Mr. Man

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