Dear Mr. Man…

April 1, 2009

How To Look Like Homer Simpson And Be The Sexiest Man Alive

Filed under: Family,Manhood,Mr. Man's Random Thoughts — P. J. Easter @ 10:25 pm


Q: Dear Mr. Man,

I don’t think my wife finds me attractive anymore. What can I do to be sexier to her?

A: Friends, if I had a sure-fire answer to that, Mr. Man would be in somewhere in the tropics, having a drink out of a coconut half-shell, and grilling anything I could catch. Alas, what I can say is that I understand that it is very easy to get bogged down with the realities of the career, parenthood, and other obligations. It is important that we never forget the glue that holds all of the pieces together: your wife. Sometime, our inattention makes us less attractive to our spouses. I don’t want this to happen to in my relationship, so I made a commitment to myself that I would work harder at being the sexiest man alive to my woman. 

Sexy is not necessariy looking like Denzel or Tyrese . You can look like Homer Simpson on the outside so long you are George Clooney attractive on the inside. Back me up, ladies. Don’t leave me hanging on this one. So here is what you do:

  1. Just Because. When I broke my ankle last year around the holidays, Adi was the only one who was there all the time. I wanted to do something nice for her, but was unable to leave the house. So I ordered flowers…just because. Just because she was there for me and that was the very LEAST I could do. There needs to be many more “just because ” moments to let her know that she is special. Take her on a weekend trip…just because. Set up a spa day…just because. Take the kids off of her hands for a few hours…just because. The simple fact that you are thinking of her will make you instantly sexier in her eyes.
  2. Touch Her (Not In That Way). We all need physical contact. There is something about the human touch that connects you in ways large and small to another person’s soul. That’s the way God built us. So it is doubly important that you touch your wife without expectation. I don’t mean grab her booty (although there is a time and place for that. She’ll let you know), but soft caresses, holding her hand, and gentle touches on her neck, face, and hair. Your wife is beautiful and touching her is one of the ways that you let her know that you think so.
  3. Shut Up and Listen.  How often have you come come home to your spouse and laid out the burdens of your day? And once you get it off of your chest, you go off into the man-cave never to be seen again until dinner. I’ve been guilty of this as well. It is important to be mindful of the fact that there are events and concerns that have occurred during the day and she wants to be heard just like you do.
  4. Don’t Always be the Fixer. One of the most loving things that a man can do is to listen to his wife without trying to solve her problems. This is of the most difficult things for a man to do because our nature is to “fix it”. Resist your instincts. Simply refer to #3.
  5. Man Up and Be Her Total Man. Protect her when she needs it, but don’t suppress her strong side. Don’t be afraid to take charge, but remember…you’re not the boss of her. Don’t be afriad to discipline your children, but to do it in the spirit of love. It’s alright to let her see you cry every now and again, but not every weekend. Let her take care of you, but remember that she’s not your mama. Man up and let her see the total you.

Hopefully these steps will provide you with the instant sexy you want and she needs.  

Mr. Man

March 2, 2009

My Name is Adam…

Filed under: Manhood — P. J. Easter @ 3:09 pm
Tags: ,


Q: Dear Mr. Man.

I am struggling with temptation and I don’t know what to do.

A: Sometimes there are things that run through your mind that, if heard aloud, would embarrass, shame, and dishonor you. As guilt-ridden as you may feel, you allow the decadent thoughts to run across your mind. You take silent pleasure in the moment.

You long to taste the bittersweet succulence that you once enjoyed and long to savor again. You know that you shouldn’t. You know that nothing good could come of it, but you can’t seem to shake the desire.


You are a different person now (or so you thought). You don’t want to want to give in to your baser instincts, but you feel your resolve crumbling. If your family only knew, they would be so disappointed in your weakness. That’s why you can’t tell a soul.


Your heart is racing. A light sweat breaks across your forehead. You mentally succumb to the fantastical indulgences that have been running across your mind all day long. The moment is finally here. You give in to temptation as waves of guilt and euphoria.  And then…


You look up from your reverie and remember that you are sitting at your desk, your co-worker calling for your attention. You clear your throat as you pull yourself together as your sinful thoughts slip away.


There is a line in a Prince song called Electric Chair that goes like this:


“If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, then give me the electric chair for all my future crimes.”


Let’s get back to reality. The scenario above could be thoughts of taking that first drink after being on the on the wagon for the last 15 years. It could be the temptation of having a cigarette after a long hiatus. It could be a diet that you do not have the will power to stick with. It could be another person that comes and interrupts the tranquility of your life. We are human and we commonly suffer from our frailties. This we understand. Life throws us curveballs that cause us to momentarily forget our better judgment.


It is difficult to control the thoughts that come and go though your mind. You can filter what you take in terms of your environment, but something always seems to slip through the cracks that sends your mind into overdrive. However, it is how a person responds to these temptations, in my mind, that shows the true measure of the man. The man of strength and character will recognize these curveballs and knock them out of the park. He will not succumb. He will not give in. No matter what. No matter how much his flesh is pulling him down. He will seek redemption.


It is also important to be surrounded with like-minded men of faith who love you enough to hold you accountable. If you are honest and you allow it, these men will call you out, pull you from the depths of hell, and be a source of strength where you may be lacking. They will help you man up when you may not be able to see it in yourself to do so.


Mr. Man


Question: How do you handle temptation in your life?

February 18, 2009

Man Up!

Filed under: Manhood — P. J. Easter @ 10:09 pm
Tags: , , ,


Image courtesy of:

Q: Dear Mr. Man.

Why do you say “Man Up!” all of the time?

A: Typically when someone hears “Man Up”, it comes across almost as a challenge of a one’s manhood. It is typically preceded by a statement of unmanly behavior and being told to “man up” (example: “Dude, don’t be a punk. Man up! You still have nine fingers left.”). This attitude reinforces the belief by some that men have to be unfeeling and insensitive in order to be considered strong. Rather than a challenge of manhood, I consider it more of a call to manhood.

This definition of “Man Up” from Urban best describes how I think the phrase should be used:

“to fulfill your responsibilites as a man, despite your insecurities and constant ability to place yourself in embarrasing and un-manly scenarios. “

Man up is a call to males (and unfortunately females who have assumed the responsibilities of a failed man) everywhere to step up to the plate and to be the fathers and husbands and providers and friends and spiritual leaders and MEN that God intended us to be.

It is a call to raise our children and to provide for them. It is a call to teach your boys how to be men by letting  them see how you treat your wife and daughters. It is showing them that even though you may not live in the same house, you are never far away. It is holding your wife’s hand in public and telling her that you love her unashamedly.To man up is to play with your children even though you are so tired you can barely walk. To man up is to go for something that you really, really want. Then you fail in the achievement of that goal. 

You fall down. You feel emotions that come with it. You get up. Then you try again.

God created man in His image. God loves. God hates (sin). God smiles. God weeps. God mourns. If God were a man, wouldn’t He be the ultimate one to “man up”?

 Why should we as men be any less? Why would you want to be?

Brothers, don’t be afraid to…

Man up!

Mr. Man

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