One Saturday morning (you pick which one), when Adi and I are sleeping in, I hear a ruckus downstairs in the great room. As I rush downstairs to see what’s going on, I hear J.C. yelling at the top of his lungs, “Get up! I was there first!” Now Adi is coming behind me as Bae screams back, “Let me go! Now!”
“What is going on?” I asked (okay, technically I did ask a question. That’s not how it came across, I’m sure. To the kids, it probably sounded more like a roar).
The Boy and Bae start to speak simultaneously, creating a foreign language to this day I cannot decipher without saying the magic phrase:
“STOP IT! One at a time! Bae, tell me what’s going on.”
Bae begins to tell her version as The Boy objects to the way she’s telling it and a verbal duel ensues. I say the magic phrase again and begin my investigation.
ME: “Bae, what happened?”
Bae: “J.C. is tryin’ to make me get up from this seat.”
J.C.: “I was there first!”
ME: “Is that true, Bae?”
Bae says sullenly, “Yes.”
ME: “So why did you take The Boy’s seat?”
And here it comes. The moment my kids temporarily lose all of their common sense…
Bae looks me in the eyes and says, “I don’t know…”
ME: “What do you mean you don’t know? You took his chair, didn’t you?”
Me: “You were present when this happened, right?”
Me: “So, again, sweetie, tell me why did you take J.C.’s seat?”
Bae: “I don’t know.”
This is where I have the Charlie Brown moment. You know the one when Lucy pulls the football he’s trying to kick from under his feet? AUUUGGGHHH!!!!!
Adi just smiles because she knows I’m getting a taste of what she gets all of the time.